I KNOW! It's CRAZY!
I present to you the second (and, thankfully, final) part of my look back at a year's worth of Rumor Roundups. Without further ado, here are the "HOLY CRAP! That came TRUE!" rumors:
October 12, 2007
- OS X Leopard at "Gold Master". - Before it was just a rumor. This time, we swear, it's real. It's finally finalized. It'll finally be definitely released, definitely, in October ... maybe ... Oh, the exact date? Ummm ...
Huh! What do you know? This WAS true! Well, I guess I need to man up and apologize: Sorry, giant corporation. I didn't mean to hurt your non-existent feelings.
- Target can't stomach Manhunt 2? - Target is SO disturbed and disgusted by the game that it REFUSES to sell it in its stores (well, after the ones already in-stock sell out, of course). It'll also continue to sell it online. Now THAT'S how to take a stand against violent video games!
Almost a year later, society is still intact. Go figure!
- Sony to announce 16GB Memory Stick? - Also: 160-minutes cassette tapes! *sigh* NO ONE CARES, ANYMORE, Sony!
Again, I must apologize to a corporation. OBVIOUSLY, that 16GB Memory Stick changed the industry as we know it. Revolutionary!
- iPhone update to add voice recording and disk use? - Turn your voice notes into ring tones for only $1.99!
Actually TRUE! (Sure, it took 11 more months and you'd have to PURCHASE them as "apps". But, hey ... silver lining, right?
- Guitar Hero IV already in the works? - Promising to be the most realistic version ever, this release will feature a new character: Mr. Fat Cat, the RIAA representative, who will show up, from time to time, to sue your character for covering other artist's songs.
Well, of COURSE this one was true! You don't make a game that generates a revenue stream to turn the head of King Midas, only to then sit back and say "Oh, no, please! I have too much money already."
- Fox DVDs to carry an iPod ready version of the movie, too? - Why not just use Handbrake to encode your own and not pay the premium price that Fox will inevitably charge for such a "feature"? Oh, right, this one is better because it'll get all wrapped up in Apple's tight DRM scheme ... I apologize.
This happened! Too bad it only comes with REALLY terrible movies that the studios have already given up on earning back their investment on. (I'm looking at YOU, "Rambo"!)
- Next-gen Eee PC to be bigger? - Careful, guys. There is a fine line between being a "small, sexy, ultra-portable" and "just another laptop".
Well, they didn't heed my warning and now offer dozens of SKUs in various sizes and power. Their top-of-the-line model is a scant couple of bucks from a "real" laptop. Well done! Not just ANY company can fragment their market share in so many ways in so little time!
- iPhone to become available for business accounts? - Bosses, everywhere, are preparing their "No — you don't really need an iPhone" speech for the inevitable line of employees hoping to get the device on the company dime.
From experience, I can now say that bosses sure didn't need to prepare a speech. No, not because the rumor didn't come true, but because, when I asked, all MY boss said was, "Get the hell out of my office." Which takes no prep-time at all.
- Duke Nukem 3D on Xbox Live Arcade? - FINALLY! Oh ... wait ... that's not "Duke Nukem Forever"? Never mind! (I think I have the floppies for 3D around here, somewhere, anyway ...)
It happened ... NINE MONTHS LATER! I'm pretty sure it took less time to translate the Bible from the original Aramaic.
- Yahoo! building a lifecasting service? - Awesome ... now instead of limiting my choice to the 24/7 live-and-very-very-boring streams from Justin.tv et al, I'll have hundreds of life-casting streams to ignore and, instead, live my own life.
This one came true. So if you're really interested in see what other people are doing, your options are wide and varied. Of course, they're all essentially the same: Whining about how terrible their parents are while simultaneously using the thousands of dollars of equipment they were given by those same parents. Irony not included.
- Toshiba giving up HD DVD format? - "Welcome to the Dead Format Bar, sir. Reservation for one? Yes, we have a table all set up for you. You there! BetaMax! MiniDisc! Budge over and give our new friend some room, will yah?!"
"Someone tell the bartender that 8-track is cut off until he stops crying."
And it was true. We barely got to "hate on" the new format before it went extinct. I had SO MANY more format war jokes. The truth of this rumor really threw a wrench in my plans.
- Xbox price drop, next week? - In Europe. So, it's not like a REAL price drop. I mean, all those European countries use some sort of fake, play money, anyway, not REAL American Dollars, right?
Hilarious. Months after this, the US dollar tanked and I asked my boss to start paying me in Euros. He misheard me, however and my next pay-packet consisted of a pile of churros.
- Guitar Hero: Aerosmith to feature other bands, too? - Thank. God. Now, before you Line Up to send me hate-mail, Get A Grip. While a whole Line Up of YA-KA-KAOW songs sung by a digital Tyler might have been Amazing, it probably would have had me Cryin'. Or, at least, have made me Crazy. Either way, I don't Gotta Love It. I'm not Livin' On The Edge, after all. (Guffaw)
Was I proud of myself that I managed to fit so many song titles in one post? Yes. Was a ashamed that I didn't have to do any research to find those titles? Yes.
- Tron 3-D? - 2011 is shaping up to be an awesome year for Disney: Cars 2, Pirates of the Caribbean 4, National Treasure 3, and Tron 3-D. It's good to see that at least ONE studio out there is dedicated to new, creative ideas and not simply re-treading old ground for a quick buck.
And after seeing the leaked footage from "Tr2n", I eat my words. Never before have I been more excited about a sequel since "The Lion King 2" came out.
- Force Unleashed delayed? - Does that make you angry? Let your anger flow through you. It'll make you stronger.
Turns out, it was even worse than we thought. A majority of the developers were fired and a new team was hired to finish the project. Unless that was a smokescreen and we'll find that the game was, indeed, fully operational by the time our friends arrive.
- Microsoft's Surface to come in sphere form? - Just think! In the future, we'll have a way, finally, to represent the way the world really looks. No more using a 2-D map that flattens and distorts land-masses. Dare I suggest a name for such a revolutionary device? How about "globe".
Thanks, MS for spending time on THAT while Vista continues to fall below user expectations!
Jeff Somogyi is dealnews' Media Editor. This 2-part post might have turned him off from rumors for a while. (But, then again, after our last office pizza party, he said the same thing about pepperoni — but we're pretty sure we saw him gnawing on Slim-Jims the very next day. He's a glutton for punishment.