Jeff Somogyi is a dealnews Senior Staffwriter. It's rumored that Simon Cowell called his PERL "pathetic".
- Zune WiFi music store?
Knowing them, it will be based around yet another new DRM scheme, frustrating users of any "Microsoft approved" device except the Zune.
- WWE games ported to the Wii?
Parents of the world cringe in fear over Junior saying, "Watch this!" and launching a drop-kick into daddy's expensive 60" plasma screen.
- Google considering buying Sprint?
Pundits speculate that it's so they can get their hands on WiMax. Then use the telco's towers to broadcast a single message: "Google is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful company I've ever known in my life."
- New Nintendo DS coming?
Yes, it will happen, but only after the ink starts running out on its money-printing machines that are the current DS and Wii.
- New iPhone features coming?
Wow. This one must be straight from "The Cupertino Center for the Research of DUH"! What?! You mean Apple will continue to improve the iPhone?! Preposterous! I thought that once it released something, it simply moved on to the next new thing, right? I mean, what new OS has Apple released since LISA? I certainly haven't heard of any!
- iTunes Store / Apple TV to get video rental functionality?
Just as soon as Apple can figure out where to afix "Be kind, rewind" stickers to downloadable content.
- Sony to announce 16GB Memory Stick?
Also: 160-minutes cassette tapes! *sigh* NO ONE CARES, ANYMORE, Sony!
- Google to team with American Idol creator?
First project: America's Next Top Search Engine Algorithm.
- Xbox's Fall Dashboard Update to add DivX support?
About time! I'm sick of having to trans-code my pirated mov ... I mean ... *gulp*
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