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12 Mother's Day Gifts to Avoid

If these are on your list, you are a terrible gift-giver.
Published
No Wire Hangers
Richard Crouse

Mother's Day is upon us, so you better have gotten the woman who lovingly cared for you in her womb (or chose you, out of all the other kids, from the orphanage) a little something to say, "Thanks for putting up with all my B.S. over the years." To help in your quest, we've put together an entire selection of Mother's Day gift ideas.

Of course, there are always some foolhardy souls who will try to "go it alone." If you won't take our advice of what you should buy mommy dearest, at least take our advice of what not to get her and have the decency to avoid these awful Mother's Day gifts.

  1. Wire hangers. (Though any hangers are usually a terrible gift.)

  2. A copy of Stepmom, Throw Momma from the Train, Mommie Dearest, or Shaft (because he's a "bad mother").

  3. Anything where you'd have to guess her size. You will invariably guess wrong, and not in the flattering way.

  4. Matching sailor outfits.

  5. A "draft-your-own-will" kit, with your name pre-filled in the "bequeath everything to" box.

  6. A bag of your dirty laundry with instructions to "separate the colors, this time, wouldya, ma?! Last time my favorite tank top came out pink!"

  7. A gravestone or cemetery plot. Even if — especially if — you say, "For that little 'problem' you have out in the garage. Wink!"

  8. Cleaning supplies ... no matter how fancy, expensive, robotic, or "as seen in O, The Oprah Magazine" they might be.

  9. Stolen jewelry, especially if you stole it from her in the first place.

  10. Anything you had to manipulate a mechanical claw to get.

  11. Nothing.

  12. A shout-out in your last words before your state execution.

  13. A Facebook "Like."

  14. A copy of Oedipus Rex.

If you're thinking, "Great, you just shot down every idea I had," then seriously, check out our Mother's Day guide. It's just safer. (Also: You come up with terrible gift ideas.)
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Jeff Somogyi is the DealNews Media Editor. Since working here he's written deals, features, promotional and newsletter copy, blog posts, as well as scripts for our videos. Follow him on Google+, Twitter at @sommerjam or his blog.
Please note that, although prices sometimes fluctuate or expire unexpectedly, all products and deals mentioned in this feature were available at the lowest total price we could find at the time of publication (unless otherwise specified).
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