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9 Alternative Valentine's Day Gift Ideas for the Modern Romantic

An anatomically-correct heart, bouquet of unicorns, and more to break your roses-and-chocolates rut.
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It's not that we're cold-hearted and cynical enough here at DealNews to under-appreciate a day dedicated to romance and big gestures, but some of us have grown tired of the usual selection of Valentine's Day fodder that's been clogging up virtual shelves across the net in the run-up to the big day.

Luckily for you love-sick Lotharios who want to put in a little more effort, we've sourced a selection of adorable alternatives to heart-filled and sweet-smelling junk, hoping to inspire you to be a little more discerning with your gifts this Valentine's Day.

Most of these items are still available to arrive in time for the day, but you may need to upgrade to a pricier shipping option or opt for in-store pickup in some cases as punishment for your heartless disorganization.

Alternative Gift Ideas for the Contemporary Valentine

Heart Teddy

I Heart Guts 10.5" Anatomically-Correct Heart Plush Toy

($19.99 with free shipping, a low by $5)

There are few scientifically-accurate Valentine's Day gifts on the market, but this I Heart Guts plush toy is one of them. Like any good heart-shaped trinket, it comes complete with an aorta and two ventricles and is far preferable a goodie to another pink teddy bear that offers no cardiological education.


unicorn

Plush Unicorn Bouquet

($39.99 via coupon code "SQUISHY" plus $6.95 s&h, $10 off list)

Like lust and infatuation, roses die pretty quickly. So, if you want to give your other half a longer-lasting token of your sentiment, you can get no more adorable than this bouquet of unicorns. They're completely thornless, won't aggravate allergies, and are a far more creative alternative to a dozen red buds. If unicorns don't grab you, you can also please the crazy cat lady in your life with the Plush Kitten Bouquet, which is at the same price (after the above coupon code).


Smitten Mittens

Smittens Mittens

($35 with free shipping, a low by $3)

Nothing shoves your love down other peoples' faces as much as blocking the pavement with a heart-warming embrace — and Smitten Mittens are here to make that even easier. You can use the 2-person glove to partake in some "cozy hand-holding" (as advised by Amazon) or play a sneaky, albeit romantic game of thumb wars.


Star Projector

Astrostar Astro Star Laser Constellation Projector

($8.49 with free shipping, a low by $2)

We're not all built to brave the outdoors, so we're doing all we can to bring the romance inside the house, where there is warmth, soft furnishings, and now: the night's sky. It's the closest a homebody can get to a romantic camping trip in the wintry mountains. This star map projector features a rotating base with compass-point alignments.


USB tape

Mix Tape 1GB USB Memory Stick

($35 with free shipping, a low by $8)

John Hughes and co. taught us that there is nothing quite as romantic as a mix tape, but unless you have an antiquated boombox at hand, this niftily-packaged USB stick will make a contemporary substitute. Alternatively, you can break out your arts and crafts bag, fashion the packaging yourself, and save a wad of cash by buying this plain and simple 1GB USB Flash Drive ($3.58 with free shipping via Prime, low by $1).


pizza pan

American Metalcraft 16" Aluminum Heart-Shaped Pizza Pan

($16.49 plus $11.95 s&h, a low by $9)

They say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, and you would be living a lie if you believed that women are any different. So, no matter who you're trying to please on the night in question, fill them up with cheese and saucy bread and watch them jump lovingly into your arms for a bloated night of pizza-eating and falling asleep too early.


Pokemon

Pokémon "I Choose You" Men's T-Shirt

($19.98 with $3.99 s&h, a low by $1)

What better way to show the world that your loved one has already been claimed than to emblazon the fact across their chest? Luckily, you can hide these cruel intentions behind an adorable pop culture reference. Monogamists can buy one for their beloved, or those more adventurous romantics can stock up on a few and catch 'em all. It's available in sizes S to 3XL.


date invitations

Personalized Datevitation Love Coupon Book

($9.99, $15 off list)

If you're running a little low on cash or time this weekend, then you can invest in the promise of a show-stopping date. Just to ensure you can't back out of the said hypothetical, high-concept adventure, you can personalize your own date coupon book with up to five removable vouchers. This is ideal for those who are trying to dodge the hype and expense of Valentine's Day, in order to celebrate after the holiday.


Star Wars Towels

Star Wars Han and Leia Bathroom Hand Towels

($19.99 plus $6.95 s&h, only available at ThinkGeek)

No matter how great your relationship is, it holds true that Han Solo and/or Princess Leia have been most self-respecting human's first and true love. Since that was always a pipe dream, you can treat your second-rate lover to this towel set and "Solo" them at every opportunity on Valentine's Day.

This selection of gifts may not be glaringly romantic, but we figure that if you can present an anatomically-correct toy of an internal organ to your loved one, you'll soon figure out if you're on the same page. After all, diamonds may be a girl's best friend, but an adorably creepy soft toy is a more cost-effective close second.

Readers, will you be exchanging gifts with a loved one this Valentine's Day or spending the time and money on something more fulfilling, like a Netflix account and a liter of ice-cream?


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Content Editor

A former Fashion Editor and Boggle champion, Donna Doyle spends her time writing for DealNews, re-reading Harry Potter, and living in denial.
DealNews may be compensated by companies mentioned in this article. Please note that, although prices sometimes fluctuate or expire unexpectedly, all products and deals mentioned in this feature were available at the lowest total price we could find at the time of publication (unless otherwise specified).
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