5 Deals You Need to Know Today: Open-Box Deals, and a Deal on an Open Box
Woot (an Amazon company, lest we forget) will presumably ship these open-box items in closed boxes. The paradoxes never cease. Check out this offer and more in our roundup of the five best deals we found over the last 24 hours.
Top Electronics Deal
Woot Open-Box Sale
Up to 70% offIt's fun to imagine the worst combinations of items from this sale. For example, using a Bio Ionic Long Barrel Styler 1.5" Pro Curling Iron on the plastic hair of a Bratz x Kylie Jenner 24" Large-Scale Fashion Doll. Taking the Gigabyte X670E AORUS Master AMD AM5 ATX Motherboard into your first shower with the Everstein 12" High-Pressure LCD Rainfall Shower Faucet. Throwing the Squishmallows Pokemon 20" Teddiursa Plush onto the roaring flames of the Sunnydaze 25" Steel Wood-Burning Fire Pit and watching it burn. Burn. The smell of toasting honey wafts through the air as Teddiursa's paw secretions meet their blazing end. The pocket monsters must burn. Burn for their sins. Its forehead crescent glows, not with the inner luminescence of honey detection, but with cleansing fire. You can get in there too, Bratz Kylie Jenner, for the Pepsi ad sins of your sister.
Top Home & Garden Deal
Sterilite Mini Crate Multi-Purpose Storage Bin
$1.64$1.64 for this? It's a good price on a storage box. A laudable cost for a container.
Yes.
A great crate rate.
Top Furniture Deal
Furniture Deals at Costco
Up to $600 offScrolling through this sale, I had the thought: "This is like furnishing your Sims' house, but for your actual house." I then had the thought: "I don't think that's how one's relationship with reality is supposed to function." Unthinkingly associating this with a video game? One I haven't played in about two decades? Don't I have better ways of framing this experience? Then I had the thought: "Man, I could really use that infinite money cheat in real life." And I'm just kinda stuck on that thought now. That'd be really neat.
Top Patio Deal
ModernLuxe 2-Seater Hanging Bench Porch Swing
$96Not enough chairs in daily life swing or rock. The best you get, for the most part, is maybe an office chair that swivels, and has a bit of give if you lean back harder than normal. Not good enough. I want to be constantly in the process of being lulled into a slumber by whatever chair I'm sitting on, even if it's on this porch swing under the baking midday sun. I will awaken from my swing siesta smelling of fried bacon and regret, my skin the color of a strawberry fruit roll-up. I'll then retreat to my indoor rocking chair, where I'll attempt to apply a soothing, body-wide layer of aloe vera, but the gentle rocking sends me back to a slumber, mid-scoop in the jar of gel. I awaken from my second siesta with pickled fingers. All according to plan.
Top Video Game Deal
Xbox Sale and Specials
Up to 90% offThe Xbox brand is in a weird spot right now. "Whoops, no one bought our big console, or the small console. Hardware is in the toilet. Good thing we devalued our software by putting every release on GamePass. Quick, fire someone. No, someone completely unrelated to any decision that led us here." But none of that matters in the face of Resident Evil Village for $10, or the remade Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3 + 4, already 25% off. To celebrate the latter, you must now guess which of these is not a real skateboard trick I found on what I assume is a trustworthy list.
- Melancholy Grab
- Metropolitan Glide
- Willy Grind
- Hospital Flip
