5 Deals You Need to Know Today: Each Trip's a Trip to Paradise With My eBayby on Board
I've been busy with the universal celebration of solipsism, Me More Real Day. But now it's Memorial Day's turn, thanks to this eBay sale. Check out this offer and more in our roundup of the five best deals we found over the last 24 hours.
Top Memorial Day Deal
eBay Memorial Day Sale
Up to 50% off + extra 20% off via code "MEMORIALDEALS"It's the sale that puts the "eBay" in "Memorial eBay". The sale that puts the "sale" in "eBay Memorial eBay Sale". We are two sentences in. An extra 20% off everything from scooters to chainsaws to iPhones should reel you back in. There is nothing I can say, no nonsense I can spew, that could dissuade you from saving vast stacks of money here. Probably.
Top Toy Deal
"I Ducking Love You" Crochet Duck
$5The confusing thing here, even more so than a tiny crochet duck being in love with me (who wouldn't be, after all), is that the duck seems to think "ducking" is a swear word that needs to be scribbled out. And that the "ing" is the part of the word that'll offend people. Silly duck. You are lucky people require positive reinforcement. Of course, he's not a duck. He's a duckling. Sorry, a duckling.
Top Laptop Deal
Gaming Laptops at Woot
Up to 45% offYou may have had your first exposure to gaming laptops way back in 1994, when Chandler asked if the other Friends wanted to play Doom on what the internet informs me was a Compaq Contura 4/25cx. And you could (and should) play Doom on whichever of these laptops tickles your fancy, and Doom II: Hell on Earth, and Doom 64, and DOOM (2016), and DOOM Eternal, and especially Doom 3. Perhaps even Doom: The Dark Ages, released mere days ago with its fancy raytracing and fancier pathtracing and big guts, would chug along quite happily on these powerhouses. But will they print any more reliably than Chandler's old Compaq? The answer is, and always will be, no. Printers are the real Hell on Earth.
Top Toy Deal Ooh Deja Vu
LEGO Icons Shuttle Carrier Aircraft
$230 w/ 2 free LEGO setsThis Boeing 747 and NASA Space Shuttle Enterprise combo seems quite sweet — look at the space shuttle riding on its plane-daddy's back! But then you read this story about male capuchin monkeys carrying baby howler monkeys on their backs, which seems sweet too, if a little weird, and then you get to the part where it turns out the howlers had been abducted, and what's suffered what's assumed to be a 100% mortality rate due to malnourishment because the capuchins didn't bother feeding them. Casts this LEGO duo in a whole new light, doesn't it? No: because it's completely unrelated. But if you buy it direct from LEGO, you get a free little astronaut baby, which is related, and a mini Ninja Combo Mech, which seems unrelated, unless NASA isn't telling us something about what they found on Mars.
Top Phone Deal
Memorial Day Smartphone Deals at Best Buy
Up to $500 offApple. Google. Motorola. Do you think Samsung feels left out for not having an L as the penultimate letter in its brand name? In any case, they're all here in this Best Buy sale, nominally in honor of Memorial Day although most people would probably agree that smartphones have made it easier to not bother remembering things — how many phone numbers do you have memorized today compared to twenty years ago? Exactly. But you will remember this little paragraph when I make a fortune selling smartphones via my brand new company Samsulg.
