Father's Day is just 10 days away, and while we all seem to go out of our way for Mother's Day, be honest, we always kinda "phone it in" for dear old dad, eh? In that tradition, we've phoned in this Father's Day feature, too. (It's basically our 12 Mother's Day Gift to Avoid feature just re-worded slightly to make jokes about your old man.)
Without further ado, here are 12 gifts to avoid this Father's Day:
- A copy of The Shining, There Will Be Blood, or Chinatown
- Wire hangers (They stretch out suits! Get him nice, wide wooden ones!)
- A pair of black socks and a pair of sandals (he already "owns" that look)
- A Draft-Your-Own-Will Kit (with the "beneficiary" field already filled out with your name)
- Discount meat (though, it's only a bad gift if someone gets sick, right?)
- A handmade coupon good for "one free burial"
- A new "whoopin' belt"
- A 1/2-smoked pack of cigarettes
- High-end lip gloss (generic is fine)
- 30-day free trial to Ashley Madison
- A copy of Oedipus Rex
- Tickets to Maury for an impromptu paternity test