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12 Terrible Father's Day Gifts to Avoid

Even if you like mom more, respect your dad enough to avoid these terrible gifts.

Father's Day is just around the corner, and while we all seem to go out of our way for Mother's Day, we always kinda phone it in for dear old dad, eh? In that tradition, we've phoned in this Father's Day feature, too. (It's basically our Mother's Day Gifts to Avoid feature, just re-worded slightly to make jokes about your old man.)

Without further ado, here are 12 gifts to avoid this Father's Day:

  1. A copy of The Shining, There Will Be Blood, or Chinatown.

  2. Wire hangers. (They stretch out suits! Get him nice, wide wooden ones!)

  3. A pair of black socks and a pair of sandals. (He already "owns" this look.)

  4. A "draft-your-own-will" kit, with your name pre-filled in the "bequeath everything to" box.

  5. Discount meat. (Although it's only a bad gift if someone gets sick, right?)

  6. A handmade coupon good for "one free burial."

  7. A 1/2-smoked pack of cigarettes.

  8. Rogaine with Minoxidil

  9. Anything that could be considered "technology" (because you're just opening yourself up to never-ending tech-support calls and complaints).
  10. 30-day free trial to Ashley Madison.

  11. A copy of To Kill A Mockingbird with the inscription, "Now THAT'S a dad!"

  12. Tickets to Maury for an impromptu paternity test.
If you're now thinking, "Great, you just shot down every idea I had," then seriously, check out our Father's Day gift guide. It's safer. (And you apparently have terrible ideas.)
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Jeff Somogyi is the DealNews Media Editor. Since working here he's written deals, features, promotional and newsletter copy, blog posts, as well as scripts for our videos. Follow him on Google+, Twitter at @sommerjam or his blog.
Please note that, although prices sometimes fluctuate or expire unexpectedly, all products and deals mentioned in this feature were available at the lowest total price we could find at the time of publication (unless otherwise specified).
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