In fact, everything you'll ever need to make your T-Day complete can be found online.
First, and most importantly, is the turkey. It's the lynch-pin of T-Day. Without a turkey, Thanksgiving is just, really, a Thursday. (You know, where you eat until you pass out, wake up and feel terrible about yourself? Just me? OK, then.)
Well, anyway, it just so happens that Omaha Steaks has its Turkey and Trimmings Dinner for $39.99 with around $17 for shipping. But, pay via PayPal and you'll get $8 cash back, for an effective price of $31.99. It includes an oven-roasted turkey breast*, two green bean casseroles, two servings of roasted garlic mashed potatoes, and two servings of whipped sweet potatoes. That's enough grub to only fill up four people with holiday cheer, so remember to count up your guest-list and divide by four. The resulting number is how many you should order. Math makes thanksgiving more fun!
Secondly, you'll need something to heat it up on and cut it with. Well, you're in luck, 'cause Sears has this Basic Essentials 8-Piece Roaster Set available in its stores for $19.99. The set includes the roaster, V-rack, two cotton mitts, bamboo handled silicone brush, lacing kit, and a carving knife and fork. That's so cheap that you COULD (if you wanted to hasten the demise of the great green planet we call home) simply throw it all out when you're done with it! Think of it: No dishes to wash. Now that is a happy Thanksgiving.
Of course, you'll still need something to eat from and eat with. If you really wanna avoid washing up, you could use paper plates, I suppose, but turkey gravy tends to soak those things right through, in a matter of seconds. For the more refined, there is this Corelle Livingware Country Cottage 16-Piece Dinnerware Set for $28.99 with free shipping at Amazon.com. It's a service for four so, if you have more kin than that, you'll have to buy a couple sets to avoid asking your guests to "double up", two-relatives-per-plate style. Sure, it's not fine china, but do you really trust your ham-handed in-laws with the good stuff? I thought not.
Unless you wanna eat with your hands, you'll also be wantin' this 53-Piece Stainless Steel Flatware Set for $19.99 from Blair.com. (Plus, you can nab free shipping via coupon code "NVT". Bonus!) It includes eight 5-piece place settings, so remember to only buy one of these sets for every two sets of the plates you buy. Yeah, you might end up with a surplus of cutlery, increasing the chances that there will be an extra fork at hand to jab into that cousin of yours that is just oh-so-smug about his new promotion, and you wish he'd just shut up, already ... er .... um ... what was I saying?
Anywho. That covers the basics, but there are some items, however, that'll give you T-Day bonus points.
Like this Kitchen Corner 7-Piece Wooden Salad Set for $9.99 with $9.95 for shipping from Boscov's, for instance. It not only says, "Hey, let's eat some leafy-greens!" but it also shows that you've got class; the kind of class that eats salad out of bowls and not straight out of the store-bought plastic bag your pre-mixed salad came in.
Also, major Thanksgiving points are awarded to all who are brave enough (read: stupid) to risk limb, house, and life using this Bayou Classic Turkey Fryer available at Amazon.com.
Yes, every year a couple of fried-turkey-seeking revelers are featured on the news, telling their sob story of how the holiday was ruined by trips to the burn ward and calls to their insurance agents. YOU could be one of those lucky few! And it'll only cost you $69.99 with free shipping to risk it all! Just don't blame us if you don't follow the directions and suffer from the experience — minor injuries, severe burns, a burned-down house and/or wife, etc.
So, with all the items out there, ready to be plucked from the Internet, there's no reason why you shouldn't have the best (and relatively cheapest) Thanksgiving ever! (Assuming, of course, you have friends and family to share this day of overeating with. Or cats. Cats love turkey.)
Jeff Somogyi is the dealnews Media Editor. He swears he's immune to Tryptophan, yet we catch him napping, a Turkey sammich for a pillow, almost every afternoon.
*"WHAT?!" I hear you yelling. "It's not a WHOLE turkey?!" Well, friends, concessions must be made if you want to be lazy and order everything online. Them's the breaks, kids.